Five Minute Friday~~ Song

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker over at Tales from a Gypsy Mama gives us a word and a challenge. To write for 5 minutes without abandon. It is fun and I encourage you to try it. Here we go! The word is…

SONG

I can’t sing, but I do enjoy listening to music. My son also enjoys music and songs that are written for his 2 year old mind get stuck in my head. Usually, just one part of a song will play over and over in my mind. This is annoying, but it did get me thinking about  what I put in my son’s head.

Am I speaking words of encouragement into him? Am I speaking words that will boost his confidence while speaking truth? What does my son think when he hears his mama’s voice? Is it annoying? Is it soothing? Have I spoken words that when they replay in his mind, they annoy him or make him smile? Or have I spoken words that like a bad song, replay over and over in his mind and bring him down?

What about my husband? Do I speak words of encouragement to him or have my words hurt him and that is the song on repeat in his mind?

I want to put positive thoughts in my son’s and husband’s head–things they can repeat over and over again. Words of encouragement.

I usually get annoyed when same phrase gets stuck in my head ,but if it is a good word/encouragement/positive thought I put in someone’s head, I hope it wouldnt be thought of as an annoyance.

A Letter To Myself

Dear Weary Mom,

This is a letter to myself really. This has been a hard road, and my son is only 2. I thought that when my son was at this age we would be in a routine, but we are not. I thought that he would sleep through the night. However, he is proving to be a night owl and his parents are not. I thought that I would have more confidence as a mom. Instead it seems that I have more failures than victories, so there is no way to have confidence that I am doing a good job.

Please mom, believe me when I say that your son being delayed in certain areas is not your fault and not a form of punishment. Please~~ find the good that is there. Focus on what he can do. Celebrate the victories that you do have.

Another thing to remind myself of~~ I am going to fail, but God is with me. I have to remind myself that when I don’t speak in a loving manner  that there is forgiveness for me. I am not a hopeless cause. There is redemption. I am where I am meant to be~~ a mom with a son who is just trying to learn, grow, and survive. Just like me. He doesn’t act out because he hates me.  My son and I~~ we both have lessons to learn and grace to give each other. Weary mom, also remember to give yourself grace.

Before I was a mother, I thought that I would do all of the teaching to my child. My son has helped me learn lessons that God knew I needed. I am grateful. Really I am. I don’t judge as much as I used to and I don’t have all of the answers that I did before I had the title of mom. So, to all of the moms out there~~ I offer an apology to you for when I judged you and saw ALL of the ways you weren’t doing it right. Please forgive me. I now see that we all are doing the best we can and holding on to hope.

Be blessed:)

Linking up over at Hope for the Weary Mom today. If you need encouragement, you should stop by.

Mommy Rocks

Every year, one day in the month of May, Mother’s are celebrated. I know this day can be hard for a lot of people. I know that some of you don’t have great moms. I know that there are some of you who have buried their moms and their only wish would be for one more day with them. I know that there are some of you who know the pain of not having kids of your own to call you mom, and if you were to have just one wish, that would be all you would wish for. I ache for all of you.

There are a variety of moms. Those who can do crafts, remove all sorts of laundry stains, drive carpool, etc. I want to celebrate mother’s out there. I can’t imagine that I will celebrate all of you, so I will apologize in advance. Feel free to leave a comment so that we can remedy that.

For the single mom: You do more than seems humanly possible. You probably can’t rest when you want to. I can’t imagine you feel like you are understood, appreciated, and you may feel lonely. I want you to know that you are one of the hardest workers I know, and I admire you.

For the mom who adopted: The joy you experienced I am sure can’t be explained. You opened your arms and heart to a child who was made for you. You worked hard to get here and deserve to be celebrated.

For the birth mom who loved through surrender:  When you surrendered your baby for adoption, you gave a gift and you gave selflessly.  You are amazing. Don’t ever doubt that.

For the mom of a special needs child: You have to help break down barriers, and overcome more obstacles than other moms. You are a soldier for your child. You often feel lonely and a lot of people don’t understand. You overcome the stares of strangers. You show what it is like to love a child without limits. I admire you. I know your child loves you, even if they can’t say or express it. Please believe that.

Teen moms: You are probably spoken of more in a negative light, but please know that you are not the first, you are loved, and you are special. Yes, you are probably judged more harshly, but love your baby because no matter what your age when you become a mom, your child is depending on you. You may feel ill-equipped. Guess what? A lot of moms do, but unfortunately, people may want to mistreat you because of your age. Don’t listen to haters and those who judge. Keep doing the best you can and listen to your mommy instinct.

Caregivers: You have a gift. You are an influence more than you may ever know. You love on children when their parents can’t. You help shape who they are and I hope you are appreciated by the kids and their parents. I know this mom appreciates those who love on my boy when he is in the nursery and those  times I work outside the home.

For the mom who mourns: I am convinced there is no pain greater than the pain of losing a child. It doesn’t seem natural. It isn’t the way it is supposed to be. Parents are supposed to raise their kids, not mourn their loss. Please keep living, even when a part of you died.

I can’t talk about Mother’s Day without a shout out to my mom. My mom had me at 17. My dad had just turned 18. They are still married to each other today. She never blamed me for opportunities missed. She never complained about the way her and my dad did things. She never condoned either. She never looks at me with regret. Both my parents have helped lead me to the Cross, and for all of this, I am grateful. Thank you mom. I love you.

I also need to give a shout out to my Mother-in-Law. Thank you for raising your son, my now husband. I know you are proud of him. You should be. I love you.

So moms, I hope you have a Happy Mother’s Day. What we do is valuable and irreplaceable. I know we have a lot of doubts, but please, don’t doubt your worth. Moms, we make mistakes, but tomorrow is a new day. Please, let us not dwell, but learn from mistakes and celebrate the gift that you are–mom.

Be blessed:)

The Unexpected That Led To Gratefulness

Today, was not a good day. An appointment with a new doctor did not yield the results I was hoping for. I was frustrated, scared, disappointed, discouraged, and felt lonely. It isn’t a huge deal what the doctor said, but nonetheless, I was mad. I followed advice about prayer. Pray expectantly. Well, I did. I expected God to answer a certain way. I knew how I wanted Him to answer and that is what I expected from Him. Now, this isn’t the first time this has happened and since I seem to be a repeat offender and can’t learn lessons the first time, I doubt it will be the last time I will kldo this to myself. So, my theology was a little warped, but God loves me anyway. (I am trying. I am a work in progress. I will get better).

I called my husband Matt at work to tell him about the disappointing doctor’s appointment. He didn’t have time to talk, discuss, or whatever. Being frustrated and feeling alone, I really wanted him to talk. Like now. I was mad that he couldn’t talk, so I started to shut down.I hung up on him, and not in a nice way.  Know what happened a few minutes later? My husband called me out. He texted me saying not to shut him out because he doesn’t have time to discuss. Well, this is new, and I have a confession. I like it.

I like that my husband called me out. I needed it. I needed my husband to tell me that what I did was wrong. Now, this only works because he is doing it out of love. Love for me. Love for our marriage. He had no selfish motives behind this.

I truly do say this with a grateful heart. I know that it may not be popular, but I am proud of my husband. I am proud that he didn’t back down and allow me to put a wedge between us. I am giddy that he didn’t let me get away with mistreating him. This man of mine may have been prepared for battle because in the past, I would have made excuses, torn him down, and tried to manipulate an apology from him. I had no excuses. All I could say was sorry. Matt forgave me.

So, even though my theology could use some work, so does my heart. God is working in both of us, and today, I am seeing the results. It is awesome! I am grateful. For all of it.

Be blessed:)

33 Things About Me

I enjoy reading lists from people that tell a little bit about themselves. I saw a blogger do this for their birthday, so I thought I would give it a try. So, for my birthday, I give you 33 things about me. If you guess my age, congratulations! I don’t have a prize, but I like to say congratulations to you anyway. Hope you enjoy.

1. I am so bad at parallel parking that I will walk 1/2 mile if needed to avoid it.
2. I have never seen: Pride and Prejudice, Les Mis, all of The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Sense and Sensibility and probably a lot of other movies that a lot of other gals have watched. I have tried to watch some of these, but I just can’t do it. History is boring to me. You really shouldn’t live in the past either.
3. I struggle with inadequacy and jealousy due to low self-esteem. I always feel like I miss the mark or getting something just right is just out of reach.
4. I LOVE to encourage others and when I do, I do it honestly. Nothing fake here.  I have been known to send a hand-written card and even use the postal service once in awhile. Yes, old-fashioned, but still appreciated.
5. If I ask your opinion, I expect an honest answer. Crazy?
6. I enjoy people watching. It really is a lot of fun. My favorite thing I witnessed? Airport proposal. The guy was calm, the new bride-to-be was calm, but her friend. Oh.my. She kept screaming “oh my gosh!” over and over again. I wanted to remind her she DID NOT get engaged, but her friend did. I decided to bite my tongue and let them figure it all out.
7. I never needed alone time until I became a mom. So, I need to thank my son for helping me teach the value of quiet time. I can go to the movies and cafes by myself and not feel at all self-conscious. However…..
8. I love to be around my girlfriends–they give me energy and uplift my spirits.
9. Reese’s Peanut Butter cups are my FAVORITE! Better than any gourmet chocolate out there.
10. Things I hate– arrogance, lying,  people being taken advantage of, favoritism, and cliques.
11. I love football. My husband and I are bored during off-season. Baseball is a close second, but I need to be in the stands to enjoy the game. To celebrate 10 years of marriage, we went to see the Boston Red Sox play. For me to see Fenway Park was a dream come true. I am hoping to make it to Chicago to see Wrigley Field.
12. I love to talk, but am getting better at listening.  I have heard (when I wasn’t talking) that smart people are better listeners, so I hope I am doing better.
13. I love sarcasm, but a lot of people I talk to don’t like it. I usually keep my mouth shut for fear of being taken the wrong way. I won’t lie, it bums me out to not use sarcasm, but too many awkward silences has broken my spirit.
14. I am a mom who doesn’t own a minivan, and I can’t imagine ever owning one.
15. My husband is the next-to-last man I thought I would marry. The last? His brother.
16. My son forced me to learn to cook. I always thought we would eat out. Reality hit when my son was born. I still NEED recipes, but I am better
17. I am mostly vegetarian. (No, I do not have a condition). What will break me? Grouper reuben from a place on Anna Maria Island. It can’t be helped.
18. I used to think that if you wanted to have a girls vacation, you were selfish. Now? I wish I could take one. So on that note–I need to learn not to judge.
19. I LOVE TO TRAVEL and would do it more often if $$$$ was not stopping me.
20. I was home-schooled my high school years.
21. I need to be needed.
22. I love meeting new people.
23. I am not crafty and I don’t care. I don’t enjoy it. I have tried scrapbooking, but I just can’t do it.
24. I can not run. I admire runners and I have tried, but I can’t.
25. I love being a boy mom. I didn’t want a daughter because I thought it would be easier to have a son. Well, I can’t compare and I can’t complain
26. My son was born 8 weeks early and we don’t know why. Apparently, I am not a good hostess. Me and my uterus have never gotten along.
27. On hospitality~~ I used to be better at it, but since moving, I feel I have lost this gift. Maybe I surrendered it?
28. It doesn’t take much for me to be star-struck. I get excited meeting an author or seeing the local meteorologist at the store. Not.kidding. I do however think that I keep myself together, but you would need to ask those I have met. 
29. I used to not put much thought into what I wore, but now I put more thought into it since I became a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t want to fall into the lazy/too tired/frump trap.  I still am not girly-girly, but since I have discovered big earrings, I rarely leave the house without them.
30. I would hate living in the country. I love living in the suburbs. I like having my neighbors close and my yard small. I don’t like landscaping. The less work needed, the better. I think I would do well in a city, but the suburbs will do.
31. I like small houses. I have never lived in anything bigger than 1200 square feet. I don’t have a basement (which is unheard of where I live). Give me bigger, and I will fill with junk or hold on to stuff that I don’t need. I would hate to be labeled a hoarder.  Also, see above comment about less work.
32. Whenever someone gives me a compliment, I really don’t know how to respond. I usually question the authenticity of it. Maybe because I am honest with my encouragement and compliments? Why does it make me uncomfortable to receive compliments?
33. I was raised in a some-what legalistic way. Don’t get me wrong, there is right and wrong, but love and grace were usually missing from the equation. I am getting better.

So there you have it. Thanks for stopping by and, of course, be blessed:)

Jump

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker over at Tales from a Gypsy Mama gives us a word and a challenge. To write for 5 minutes without abandon. It is fun and I encourage you to try it. Here we go! The word is…

Last night, after coming home from Bible study, I was trying to talk to my 2 year old son. I was asking him about music class and how it went. Well, according to my husband, it went well. I don’t know what led to the next turn of events, but my son jumped. Now, this is not news worthy to a lot of you. I get that, but for me, I wanted to cry tears of joy. MY SON JUMPED FOR THE FIRST TIME! Having a child with delays and wondering what the future holds is scary. When he finally starts to reach a milestone, I want to jump up and down with excitement. So now, hopefully you can see why this mama’s heart is elated!

I can’t honestly understand why my son couldn’t jump. Isn’t it natural? I did have people try and reassure me, but I couldn’t help but worry. I would try and teach him, but I don’t know~~ maybe he wasn’t ready. Maybe he didn’t understand. Maybe it took watching others in music class to figure it out. Maybe he was brave. I don’t know. I do know that he is now starting to jump and I couldn’t be more excited.

Maybe I am to learn from this. To jump in the deep end instead of staying in the safe and shallow end. I don’t know if I am trying to do life on my own and need to swim out in waters that are uncharted to me and trust God more. To take more risks. To search myself more. To love better. To forgive easier. To not hold on to hurt and resentment. To take more chances. To be willing to see what God wants to show me. To do what is uncomfortable.

I do know that in taking risks, I won’t drown. It may feel like, but if I am obedient to God, He will bring me safely to shore. There will be attacks by sharks of different forms. (Ridicule, temptations, more hurt, etc.) Satan knows how to get to me (yes, I know Satan is called a serpent, but work with me here) and I will need to use the weapon (the Bible) that God has given me, and all of us to survive.  It will help me swim against the current of the familiar and the safety that I have known and, due to obedience and trusting God, I will be a better and more brave for the next jump.

I admire my son. I now know that jumping is hard, sometimes unsafe, brave, and not as natural as I thought. He did it and I couldn’t be more proud or excited. That is how I want God to think of me~~ proud. Proud to call me His daughter, and all because I jumped.

Be blessed:)

Side note–yes, I went longer than 5 minutes. Breaking this rule did feel good:)

21 Days to Finding Purpose in Pain Devotional Giveaway

I am so excited and honored to share with you a devotional that I had the privilege of reading.

My friend Stacy has written 21 Days to Finding Purpose in Pain: A Devotional. This is about her struggle with fibromyalgia and her journey to find “purpose in the pain”. This is NOT  just for those who struggle with physical pain. This devotional is for EVERYONE! Life is hard at times and Stacy tells how God’s Word (the Bible) is helping her and her hope is that her journey can help you.

Stacy tells us how her journey didn’t happen quickly. She is honest about her struggle with chronic pain and doesn’t hold back. She talks about being mad at God and has asked God questions. She talks about how her struggles refine her, but not define her. We all have hard times and there is a reason, a purpose if you will.

The purpose of the 21 day devotional is to offer hope and encouragement in whatever hard times (refinement) God is taking you through. You don’t need to have physical pain to appreciate this devotional and to learn from it. This devotional is very relatable because she describes trials from her own life. She doesn’t promise easy, but she points to God.

What do you get every day for 21 days

• Title
• Scripture
• Devotional
• Few questions
• Prayer

I know Stacy personally and let me tell you~~ I see her live this out. She is a walking, talking testimony of how God is using her to bring glory to Him. You don’t feel sorry Stacy, you feel inspired. You feel challenged to live more for God and rely on Him with whatever curve balls it seems He throws at you. I highly recommend this for everyone.

Now, for the exciting news! Stacy wants to give a copy to one of my readers!!!! I know, right? Exciting! All you have to do is click on the link below and follow the instructions. The winner will be emailed a PDF of her fabulous devotional.

Thank you Stacy for sharing your story.

Be blessed:)

a Rafflecopter giveaway